you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize