my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Drunk is a universal language darling
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
