how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
