: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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