Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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