I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
