He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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