theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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