Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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