I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
