the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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