No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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