i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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