My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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