He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
