Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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