Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
pop tarts are not kleenex
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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