An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
