I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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