So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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