someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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