It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
