Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
