as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
