Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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