I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
