I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fucked me for my cheese..
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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