my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize