Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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