I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize