butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
someone get that fucking seahorse.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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