it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
