people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize