You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
All I want is dick and wine.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize