Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
