I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
