I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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