I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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