i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
