I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
