At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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