Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
