it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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