If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb