4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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