When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
