it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
