There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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