areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Please, let me fuck your mom
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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