so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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