I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
