You're a womanizer and a bitch.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
