You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize