I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My bed smells like the plague
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
