people are starting to question the shark bite story
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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